Quran Recitation During Pregnancy : Surah Maryam

It is a common practice in our society to recite Surah Maryam during pregnancy when expecting a baby daughter even though there is no explicit hadith from our Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him recommending such action. 

The practice could have taken root based on the fact that the surah tells the story of Lady Maryam and  it is hoped that the unborn child will inherit the honorable traits of Lady Maryam. 

However, upon closer inspection, this surah of 98 verses; contains story of other prophets too namely:

1) Prophet Zakariyya and his son; Prophet Yahya (verse 2-15),

2) Lady Maryam and her son; Prophet Isa (verse 16 - 34),

3) Prophet Ibrahim and his sons; Prophet Ishak and Yaa'qub (verse 41-50)

4) Prophet Musa, Harun and prophet Ismail Alaihim Salam (very briefly)

Therefor, the story of Lady Maryam and Prophet Isa appears in less than one sixth of the surah.

This doesn't mean that the surah is not beneficial to the pregnant mommy. On the contrary there are a lot of beautiful verses in the surah that when you read it, you hope and you pray that your unborn baby will develop similar traits.

Below are some commendable characteristics mentioned in Surah Maryam :

1) The character of Prophet Yahya alaihissalam (verse 12 - 15)

"...And We gave him wisdom, while he was yet a child."

 "And (made him) sympathetic to men as a mercy from Us, and pure from sins, and he was righteous."

"And dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient (to Allah or to his parents)."

"And peace be on him, the day he was born, the day he dies, and the day  he will be raised back to life."

2) The chastity of Lady Maryam (verse 20)

"...How can I have a son when no man has touched me nor am I unchaste?"

3) The qualities of Prophet Isa alaihis salam (verse 31- 33)

"and He has made me blessed wheresoever I be.."

"and dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest."

"and peace be upon me the day I was born, and the day I die, and the day I shall be raised alive."

4) The feature of Prophet Ibrahim and his sons; Prophet Yaaqub and Prophet Ishak alaihim salam (verse 48 - 50)

"and I (Prophet Ibrahim) shall turn away from you  (his father) and from those whom you invoke beside Allah.." 

i.e. the attribute of tawheed and turning away from shirk

"and We gave them (Ibrahim and his two sons) Our Mercy (bountiful provision) and We grant them honour on the tongue (of all the nations; that is everyone remember them with good praise)"

i.e. the bountiful ni'mah granted by Allah and good standing among society.

5) The traits of Prophet Ismail alaihis salam (verse 54 - 55) 

"..Verily! He was true to what he promised.."

"and he used to enjoined on his family and his people the Salah and Zakah, and his Lord was pleased with him."

6) The mark of Prophet Idris alaihis salam (verse 56 - 57)

"..He was a man of truth.."

"and We raised him to a high station."

7) The virtues of the guided and chosen ones (verse 58) 

".. when the verses of the Most Beneficient (Allah) were recited unto them, they fell down prostating and weeping."

8) last but not least to be among those who repent and believe in Allah and His messenger and do righteous deeds so that they may enter the Eden (Paradise) (verse 60 - 61)

"Except those who repent and believe (in the Oneness of Allah and His Messenger Muhammad) and perform righteous deeds. Such will enter Paradise and they will not be wronged at all."

"They will enter "Adn (Eden) Paradise, which the Most Beneficient (Allah) has promised to His servants in the unseen, Indeed! His Promise must come to pass."

These are all commendable attributes that all of us would love to adopt and would even more so love our children to practice. It is then in my opinion, very beneficial for us to recite this surah regardless we are carrying a son or daughter in our womb and we hope by reciting these wonderful verses our unborn child will be used to hearing these wonderful traits of the Prophets and will apply it in his life later on. 

Wallahu A'lam..

Duas to Get Pregnant / Doa Untuk Hamil

If you are trying to get pregnant or are already pregnant and would like to be blessed with a good child, you may want to practise reciting any of the below duas mentioned in the Quran.


1) The dua of Prophet Zakariyya was mentioned in Surah Ali Imran Verse 38: 

.رَبِّـي هَبْ لِــىْ مـِن لَّــدُنــْكَ ذُرِّيـَّةً طَـيِّبَةً. إِنَّكَ سَمِـيْعُ الدُّعَـاءِ

Rabbi Hab Li Min Ladunka Zurriyataan Thayyibah. Innaka Samiiud dua.

Which Means: 

"My Lord, grant me from Yourself a good offspring. Indeed You are the Hearer of all supplications."

Malay Translation: 

"Ya Allah, Kurniakanlah aku zuriat yang baik, Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Maha Mendengar segala doa."

2) The dua  mentioned in Surah Ahqaf Verse 15: 

رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي ۖ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ

Rabbi auzi'ni an ashkura ni'matakal latii ana'mta 'alayya wa 'ala waalidayya wa an a'mala solihan tardhah, wa ashlihli fi zurriyyatii, inni tubtu ilaika wa inni minal muslimin.

Which Means: 

O My Lord, Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favour which You have bestowed on me and my parents, and that I may perform righteous deeds that You approve, and bestow on me pious offsprings, to You I turn in repentance and verily I am among the Muslims (submitting to Your will).

Malay Translation: 

"Ya Allah, anugerahkanlah aku supaya aku sentiasa bersyukur atas ni'mahMu ke atas diriku dan kedua ibu bapaku, dan aku sentiasa melakukan amal soleh, dan kurniakanlah aku zuriat yang baik, sesungguhnya aku bertaubat kepadaMu dan sesungguhnya aku tergolong dari orang Muslim (yang berserah kepadaMu)."

3) The dua of Prophet Ibrahim mentioned in Surah Saffat; verse 100:

رَبِّى هَـبْ لِى مِنَ الصَّالِحِيْن 

Rabbi Hab Li Minas Solihin

Which Means:

O My Lord, bestow on me righteous offspring.

Malay Translation:

"Ya Allah, kurniakanlah aku zuriat yang soleh."

Demikianlah rakan-rakan ku, beberapa doa yang tertulis di dalam Al-quran bagi ibu-ibu yang ingin hamil atau telah hamil dan ingin mendapat anak yang soleh. Semoga bermanfaat bagi semua. 

Wallahu A'lam.


Note: You might be interested in reading "Pregnancy and Islam: Tips for Mommies-to-be" here 

Islam and Marriage: Qualities of A Good Partner

One of the most popular sayings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) with regards to choosing a partner is: 

"A woman is wed for four reasons; her wealth, family status, beauty and religion. So, pick the one with religion or you will be at the losing end."

It is also quoted from Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): 

"Marry the loving and child bearing woman, for I shall out strip other nations with your numbers on the Day of Judgement."

I do believe that these two hadiths apply to both husband and wife, as a man can't be looking for a religious wife when he himself is not religious, nor can a fierce man be looking for a loving wife as this is a great injustice to the wife should she be forced into such marriage (though technically; in Islam a woman can't be forced into marriage).

This is further reinforced by Allah's words in Surah An-Nur:

"And the sinful women are for sinful men, and the sinful men are for the sinful women, and the virtuous women are for the virtuous men, and the virtuous men are for the virtuous women."

Therefor, qualities of a good life partner should include:

1. Religion

This is the first and most important trait of all. As this will ensure that the family that you are trying to build is one that practices Islam and that conflicts between the couple with regards to what is permissible (halal) and what is not (haram) is minimized.

Our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also mentioned that:

"If someone whose piety and character satisfy you, marry him, or there will be disorder on earth and great deal of evil."

What can be understood from this hadith is that; should you choose a non pious partner over a pious partner, there is a possibility that your off springs will not be pious due to the lack of guidance and role model at home.

The pious person, should he or she fails to secure a partner; might misbehave and the idea that "the good guys finish last" will propagate among society.

2. Family Status

The second quality should be family status and background. The family does not have to be wealthy or of high status, but you should ensure that they come from a good background as it forms a part of your partner's upbringing and he / she will be more or less influenced by it. You might also want to consider a family with similar background as yours to facilitate compatibility and minimize misunderstanding between in-laws. 

A man from a less fortunate background might find it difficult to adjust and respond to demands from the wife's family of differing background and this might create strains on the couple's relationship if the wife's family is not understanding or vice versa.

3. Wealth and Beauty

As for the other qualities of wealth and beauty, it is subjective to each individual. It is fortunate if all four qualities are in your chosen partner, but if otherwise, it is best to choose religion and family background above other qualities. Remember that beauty can fade and wealth can be acquired with hard work and Allah's grace and it will only be beneficial to you should you spend it in Allah's ways.

4. Affection and Fertility

Fertility is a factor of consideration, as the purpose of marriage in addition to completing a person and bringing peace in our hearts; is to produce off springs to ensure the continuity of the Muslim society to spread the word of Islam to the world.

Remember, even if we are not active in da'wah and and spreading the word of Allah in our community, our continued presence give them a glimpse of what Islam is. Our honest and virtuous acts within our community will at some level attract their interest and at the very least make our community familiar with Islam and Muslims.

Affection will then ensure that the romance between partners stay alive throughout the lifetime that you are going to spend together and make the disagreements that you are most certainly going to encounter easier to resolve.

Affection will also assure that your children will have a happy home to grow up in and a positive environment at home is greatly beneficial to the development of any child physically and mentally.

5. Other Qualities

I am sure there are other qualities that you look for in your partner and I think these qualities are highly subjective. I should think that you would try to find qualities that complement yours in order to complete you. But please bear in mind that no one is perfect and in screening our would be partner's qualities, we should remember to screen ourselves too.

Wallahu A'lam..

Dua For People To Treat You Kindly / Doa Lembut Hati

Do you feel that sometimes people are just too hard on you? It could be your spouse, your superior or even a colleague at work. If only they treat you kindly life will be much easier?

Well, you can try 2 things. 

One is very simple; just practise reciting " Ya Latiff" which is one of the 99 beautiful names of Allah s.w.t. which means The Ever Discreetly Gentle, Most Affectionate One.

The other is reciting verse 159 of Surah Ali Imran: 

Which Means:

"And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah's) Forgiveness for them, and consult them in the affairs, put your trust in Allah, certainly Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."

If that is a bit too long for you, then you can shorten it to just : 

فبما رحمة من الله لنت لهم

"And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently."

Wallahu A'lam.

Malay version: 

Adakah anda merasakan diri tertekan disebabkan pergaulan kasar dari mana-mana pihak? Pasangan anda, atau ketua anda atau teman sekerja?  Sekiranya  mereka berlembut dengan anda maka senanglah kehidupan anda? 

Jika demikian, bolehlah anda amalkan salah satu dari dua perkara ini: 

1) Amalkan wirid "Ya Latif" yang merupakan salah satu dari Nama-Nama Allah s.w.t. yang bermaksud:

"Yang Maha Lembut / Yang Maha Halus"

2) Amalkan ayat 159 dari Surah Ali Imran (seperti di atas) yang bermaksud: 

"Sesungguhnya dengan rahmat daripada Allah, engkau bersikap lemah lembut kepada mereka, kerana sekiranya engkau bersikap kasar lagi keras hati tentu sekali mereka menjauhkan diri daripada mu. Maka maafkanlah mereka, dan bermusyawwarahlah dalam urusan itu. Apabila hati kamu telah nekad maka bertawakkallah kepada Allah (kerana) sesungguhnya Allah menyukai orang yang bertawakkal."

Sekiranya ayat ini terlalu panjang maka bolehlah dipendekkan kepada: 

فبما رحمة من الله لنت لهم

Yang bermaksud: 

"Sesungguhnya dengan rahmat daripada Allah, engkau bersikap lemah lembut kepada mereka."

Wallahu A'lam.

A Prayer For A Filial Son / Doa Anak Soleh

This is something taught to me by my husband's uncle who is an Ustaz. We saw him during the last Ramadhan and when he saw our two small kids, he gave us a tip to ensure that they grow up to be good and dutiful Muslim sons. 

He said, make it a habit to read the last verse of Surah Ali Imran to them when they are sleeping at night while caressing their head. 

The verse is:

The meaning is: 

"O Believers, persevere and endure and guard your territory and fear Allah, so that you may be successful."

In reading this verse, we pray that our children will be among the believers, and will persevere in carrying Allah's commands in doing what is right and staying away from what is wrong, and will guard their selves/ nafs from the worldly desires that are against Allah's words. So that they may be successful in this world and hereafter. 

Wallahu A'lam.

You may also be interested in:
 "Dua To Perform Prayer Regularly" here
"Dua to Get Pregnant" here



Malay Version:

Ayat Ali Imran yang terakhir adalah baik diamalkan setiap malam. Dibacakan ke atas anak-anak kamu sedang mereka tidur sambil mengusap-usap kepala mereka. 

Ayat ini bermaksud: 

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, bersabarlah, dan bersabarlah (dalam mempertahankan kesabaran itu) dan  sentiasa berwaspadalah kamu dan bertaqwalah kepada Allah, supaya kamu mendapat kemenangan."

Apabila kita membaca ayat ini, kita berdoa supaya anak-anak kita menjadi orang yang beriman, dan bersabar dalam menjalankan tanggungjawab mereka; melaksanakan perintah Allah s.w.t. dan menjauhi perkara yang terlarang. Dan juga sentiasa berwaspada dari bisikan nafsu supaya mereka berjaya di dunia dan di Akhirat kelak. Insya Allah. Amin. 

Anda mungkin berminat untuk membaca:
 "Doa Untuk Menjaga Solat" di sini
"Doa Untuk Hamil" di sini

10 Steps to Staying Attractive For Your Husband at Home

There's a saying that goes something like this "The world is full of adornment and it's best adornment is a pious woman."

So, who says that a pious woman can not dress up and beautify themselves when they are the best adornment in the world? The trick is to dress up for the right person in the right place. Dressing up for your husband is to me the most fun act of piety (ibadah) I have ever known . Don't you just love it when your husband look at you and compliment you how nice you look today. Don't you love it when he says how lucky he is to  have married a beautiful wife? It makes you feel very appreciated doesn't it? Granted some men are quite slow in this area, seldom showering their partner with praises but hey you can drop some hints or ask bluntly for a praise if you really want it. Otherwise, feeling good by looking good for your husband can suffice for a start. 

How do you dress up for your husband at home then? Fret not, below are some guidelines to follow:

1) Always groom yourself. Personal hygiene is very important, ensure that your mouth smells nice, unwanted hair are removed and your feminine organ (for lack of more tactful term) is clean. 

2) Always smell nice, if you have a body odor, ensure that you bathe when you sweat and put on your deodorant even when at home. A sweet smelling perfume is desirable but not really necessary especially if you put on lotion that already has a scent.

3) Take care of your skin, always hydrate your skin. Let's face it, no one is eternally young, our soft, velvety skin will always be affected by age, pregnancy and what nots. So, don't forget your moisturizer, hand and body cream. However tiresome you think it is. Trust me, it will not go in vain. Even if you will not get your skin back to its former glory, you can at least prevent it from aging faster. 

4) Take care of your nails. I am not asking you to do a pedicure and manicure every week but at least keep them presentable and healthy. Your toenails are especially exposed to dirt when you are outside, so do keep them clean. 

5) Take care of your hair, do ensure that it is presentably cut and don't penny pinch on shampoos and conditioners and hair mask. Do go to a good salon and get a hair treatment once in a while. At home, do ensure that hair is properly brushed and keep a variety of hairbands, hair pins and hair accessories. Please don't just get any hair cut because it  is easy to maintain. Remember you are the sex siren of the house.

6) Dress up at home. Stay away from old shirts and sarongs at home. Try dresses, dressy tops and slacks and even skirts.  Of course, you shouldn't go to the extreme and dress like an indecent person especially if you are living with your in-laws or your kids are already big, just dress presentably.

7) Accessorize yourself. Put on nice earrings or dainty necklace. Try to put on a different set of earring every other day. The best part of this is that you can try out different looks and see which one he likes best. 

8) Invest in good quality underwear and lingerie. Think lacy and sexy and body flattering. Don't ask him whether he thinks that you need to buy new underwear cos his answer will be a resounding no. Just go ahead and buy what you know he will like and when you wear it he will not blame you for buying it. 

9) Take care of your body. if you have put on weight more than what you weighed when you got married, I have only one word for you. Exercise! I know that it's no fun and tiring and we all love to make up tons of excuses for it but hey, it is an essential part of keeping fit. Just sneak it as much activity as you can in your daily life. Do some spot running while carrying your baby or some crunches before sleep or even lunges when you bathe your child. Let's face it, our hubby married us for a reason and that is they were attracted to us the way we were. If we are in a better shape than before; Alhamdulillah, that's great and we should keep it up but, if we are in a bad shape then we owe it to ourselves more than to them to put our body back in shape. Keeping yourself in shape is essential in performing your duties as an active mother and a versatile and multi-tasking wife. 

10) Last but not least, always pray to Allah that he keeps the love between you and your husband alive and he will find peace and contentment in you and that your strengths are magnified and your weaknesses are played down in his eyes.

May Allah give us the strength to be wonderful wives to our husbands :)

  

My Responsibilities as a Muslim Wife

A relationship works both ways, you can't expect to get your rights without fulfilling your responsibilities too. A happy marriage is when both husband and wife understand their roles in the relationship; performing their roles their utmost best and respecting each others' rights.

In return for safeguarding my rights as a Muslim wife, I pledge to my husband that I will fulfill these responsibilities of mine with utmost care and I pray that I will be Muslimah Solehah :)

1) I pledge to you my loyalty and faithfulness; which does not mean blind obedience as Allah's rights is far above your right and I can never obey you in ways that conflict with Allah's commands.

While Islam accord to you the loyalty of wives, do note that we are human beings with feelings and emotions, so we hope that when you ask something of us, do ask nicely and tactfully. Please also consider the circumstances and situation at that moment in time.

With all my heart. I will strive to be like the one mentioned in the Sunnah: 

"When a woman prays five times a day, fast her Ramadhan, guard her modesty and be loyal to her husband; it is said to her "Enter the paradise from any door you so wish." 

How simple it seems but it will take a lot of effort from us especially on the last condition. 

2) I pledge to you my Husnul Mu'asyarah (kind treatment). I vow to respect your views, to comment constructively on issues that I feel advice is needed, to raise my contentions with adaab (graciously and thoughtfully) to treat you with love and care and respect. In whatsoever ways that I wish to be treated, I will treat you as such. For a relationship is a two way street, treat me as your queen my love and I will treat you like a king. 

3) I pledge to you my affections and intimacy when you so desire. For intimacy is one of the blessings of marriage, a halal way of satisfying our urges and a means of procreation, of multiplying our Ummah and fostering a closer bond between us.

So, as I am available to you as and when you desire, there is no reason for you to please yourself elsewhere, either in terms of print or digital media, virtual or real relationship with other girl/s (or god forbid men!) outside our sacred relationship. Tell me your fantasies and I'll try to make it work (point to note girls - an interesting sexual relation with your husband is essential to keep the flame alive; think wedding night every night *winks) Although, in reality obstacles does exist; work puts a strain on us, kids need to be put to bed, chores need to be done etc etc so guys please be considerate of the timing and do help us out so that we won't be exhausted when it comes to pleasing you. 

4) I pledge to take good care of you and your wealth and our children. I will take care of your needs my dear, protect your wealth from my excessive wants (this being very subjective of course) and ensure that the kids are given proper attention and upbringing. 

5) I pledge to dress nicely for you, to always appear presentable in your eyes. For which woman does not like to dress up? and the best person to dress up for is for the man in your life inside the house more importantly than outside the house. 

For Allah has stated in Surah Nur; verse 31:

"...and to draw their veils all over their Juyub (body, face, neck and bosom etc) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands..."

6) and lastly, I pledge to guard your secrets in my deepest bosom and will not run to your family unnecessarily to complain about small matters that we can resolve on our own. 

For Allah has stated in Surah Al-Baqarah; verse 187:

"They (your wives) are a cover for you and you are the same for them.."

As a human being, we are not free from imperfections nor bad habits though the best of us strive to be a good Muslim and try to inculcate taqwa in our life. Living with our partner day in and day out, sharing the same bed with them, who else would know us best and have to tolerate us the most? 

It is therefor essential for all of us to safeguard the secrets of our partners so that his honor in society is maintained and this goes both ways too. We will not like it anymore than them should we know that they have been talking bad about ourselves to our family and their close friends. This is more than just a form of humiliation, it is also a form of betrayal. So, guard your mouth my friends. And when your husband knows that he can trust you with his deepest and darkest secret, he will treasure you all the more.   

Well, that's about all that I can manage at this point in time without being too detailed. Point 4 and 5 can be written in one article by themselves. Money management, child education in Islam and Dressing up for your husband.. these are all good topics that requires further discussion and thoughts. 

Will try to pen down my thoughts on that soon. Do feel free to drop some comments so that I can improve this article further.

(Author's note: This article goes hand in hand with "My Rights as a Muslim Wife" available here. )