10 Steps to Staying Attractive For Your Husband at Home

There's a saying that goes something like this "The world is full of adornment and it's best adornment is a pious woman."

So, who says that a pious woman can not dress up and beautify themselves when they are the best adornment in the world? The trick is to dress up for the right person in the right place. Dressing up for your husband is to me the most fun act of piety (ibadah) I have ever known . Don't you just love it when your husband look at you and compliment you how nice you look today. Don't you love it when he says how lucky he is to  have married a beautiful wife? It makes you feel very appreciated doesn't it? Granted some men are quite slow in this area, seldom showering their partner with praises but hey you can drop some hints or ask bluntly for a praise if you really want it. Otherwise, feeling good by looking good for your husband can suffice for a start. 

How do you dress up for your husband at home then? Fret not, below are some guidelines to follow:

1) Always groom yourself. Personal hygiene is very important, ensure that your mouth smells nice, unwanted hair are removed and your feminine organ (for lack of more tactful term) is clean. 

2) Always smell nice, if you have a body odor, ensure that you bathe when you sweat and put on your deodorant even when at home. A sweet smelling perfume is desirable but not really necessary especially if you put on lotion that already has a scent.

3) Take care of your skin, always hydrate your skin. Let's face it, no one is eternally young, our soft, velvety skin will always be affected by age, pregnancy and what nots. So, don't forget your moisturizer, hand and body cream. However tiresome you think it is. Trust me, it will not go in vain. Even if you will not get your skin back to its former glory, you can at least prevent it from aging faster. 

4) Take care of your nails. I am not asking you to do a pedicure and manicure every week but at least keep them presentable and healthy. Your toenails are especially exposed to dirt when you are outside, so do keep them clean. 

5) Take care of your hair, do ensure that it is presentably cut and don't penny pinch on shampoos and conditioners and hair mask. Do go to a good salon and get a hair treatment once in a while. At home, do ensure that hair is properly brushed and keep a variety of hairbands, hair pins and hair accessories. Please don't just get any hair cut because it  is easy to maintain. Remember you are the sex siren of the house.

6) Dress up at home. Stay away from old shirts and sarongs at home. Try dresses, dressy tops and slacks and even skirts.  Of course, you shouldn't go to the extreme and dress like an indecent person especially if you are living with your in-laws or your kids are already big, just dress presentably.

7) Accessorize yourself. Put on nice earrings or dainty necklace. Try to put on a different set of earring every other day. The best part of this is that you can try out different looks and see which one he likes best. 

8) Invest in good quality underwear and lingerie. Think lacy and sexy and body flattering. Don't ask him whether he thinks that you need to buy new underwear cos his answer will be a resounding no. Just go ahead and buy what you know he will like and when you wear it he will not blame you for buying it. 

9) Take care of your body. if you have put on weight more than what you weighed when you got married, I have only one word for you. Exercise! I know that it's no fun and tiring and we all love to make up tons of excuses for it but hey, it is an essential part of keeping fit. Just sneak it as much activity as you can in your daily life. Do some spot running while carrying your baby or some crunches before sleep or even lunges when you bathe your child. Let's face it, our hubby married us for a reason and that is they were attracted to us the way we were. If we are in a better shape than before; Alhamdulillah, that's great and we should keep it up but, if we are in a bad shape then we owe it to ourselves more than to them to put our body back in shape. Keeping yourself in shape is essential in performing your duties as an active mother and a versatile and multi-tasking wife. 

10) Last but not least, always pray to Allah that he keeps the love between you and your husband alive and he will find peace and contentment in you and that your strengths are magnified and your weaknesses are played down in his eyes.

May Allah give us the strength to be wonderful wives to our husbands :)

  

My Responsibilities as a Muslim Wife

A relationship works both ways, you can't expect to get your rights without fulfilling your responsibilities too. A happy marriage is when both husband and wife understand their roles in the relationship; performing their roles their utmost best and respecting each others' rights.

In return for safeguarding my rights as a Muslim wife, I pledge to my husband that I will fulfill these responsibilities of mine with utmost care and I pray that I will be Muslimah Solehah :)

1) I pledge to you my loyalty and faithfulness; which does not mean blind obedience as Allah's rights is far above your right and I can never obey you in ways that conflict with Allah's commands.

While Islam accord to you the loyalty of wives, do note that we are human beings with feelings and emotions, so we hope that when you ask something of us, do ask nicely and tactfully. Please also consider the circumstances and situation at that moment in time.

With all my heart. I will strive to be like the one mentioned in the Sunnah: 

"When a woman prays five times a day, fast her Ramadhan, guard her modesty and be loyal to her husband; it is said to her "Enter the paradise from any door you so wish." 

How simple it seems but it will take a lot of effort from us especially on the last condition. 

2) I pledge to you my Husnul Mu'asyarah (kind treatment). I vow to respect your views, to comment constructively on issues that I feel advice is needed, to raise my contentions with adaab (graciously and thoughtfully) to treat you with love and care and respect. In whatsoever ways that I wish to be treated, I will treat you as such. For a relationship is a two way street, treat me as your queen my love and I will treat you like a king. 

3) I pledge to you my affections and intimacy when you so desire. For intimacy is one of the blessings of marriage, a halal way of satisfying our urges and a means of procreation, of multiplying our Ummah and fostering a closer bond between us.

So, as I am available to you as and when you desire, there is no reason for you to please yourself elsewhere, either in terms of print or digital media, virtual or real relationship with other girl/s (or god forbid men!) outside our sacred relationship. Tell me your fantasies and I'll try to make it work (point to note girls - an interesting sexual relation with your husband is essential to keep the flame alive; think wedding night every night *winks) Although, in reality obstacles does exist; work puts a strain on us, kids need to be put to bed, chores need to be done etc etc so guys please be considerate of the timing and do help us out so that we won't be exhausted when it comes to pleasing you. 

4) I pledge to take good care of you and your wealth and our children. I will take care of your needs my dear, protect your wealth from my excessive wants (this being very subjective of course) and ensure that the kids are given proper attention and upbringing. 

5) I pledge to dress nicely for you, to always appear presentable in your eyes. For which woman does not like to dress up? and the best person to dress up for is for the man in your life inside the house more importantly than outside the house. 

For Allah has stated in Surah Nur; verse 31:

"...and to draw their veils all over their Juyub (body, face, neck and bosom etc) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands..."

6) and lastly, I pledge to guard your secrets in my deepest bosom and will not run to your family unnecessarily to complain about small matters that we can resolve on our own. 

For Allah has stated in Surah Al-Baqarah; verse 187:

"They (your wives) are a cover for you and you are the same for them.."

As a human being, we are not free from imperfections nor bad habits though the best of us strive to be a good Muslim and try to inculcate taqwa in our life. Living with our partner day in and day out, sharing the same bed with them, who else would know us best and have to tolerate us the most? 

It is therefor essential for all of us to safeguard the secrets of our partners so that his honor in society is maintained and this goes both ways too. We will not like it anymore than them should we know that they have been talking bad about ourselves to our family and their close friends. This is more than just a form of humiliation, it is also a form of betrayal. So, guard your mouth my friends. And when your husband knows that he can trust you with his deepest and darkest secret, he will treasure you all the more.   

Well, that's about all that I can manage at this point in time without being too detailed. Point 4 and 5 can be written in one article by themselves. Money management, child education in Islam and Dressing up for your husband.. these are all good topics that requires further discussion and thoughts. 

Will try to pen down my thoughts on that soon. Do feel free to drop some comments so that I can improve this article further.

(Author's note: This article goes hand in hand with "My Rights as a Muslim Wife" available here. )