10 Steps to Staying Attractive For Your Husband at Home

There's a saying that goes something like this "The world is full of adornment and it's best adornment is a pious woman."

So, who says that a pious woman can not dress up and beautify themselves when they are the best adornment in the world? The trick is to dress up for the right person in the right place. Dressing up for your husband is to me the most fun act of piety (ibadah) I have ever known . Don't you just love it when your husband look at you and compliment you how nice you look today. Don't you love it when he says how lucky he is to  have married a beautiful wife? It makes you feel very appreciated doesn't it? Granted some men are quite slow in this area, seldom showering their partner with praises but hey you can drop some hints or ask bluntly for a praise if you really want it. Otherwise, feeling good by looking good for your husband can suffice for a start. 

How do you dress up for your husband at home then? Fret not, below are some guidelines to follow:

1) Always groom yourself. Personal hygiene is very important, ensure that your mouth smells nice, unwanted hair are removed and your feminine organ (for lack of more tactful term) is clean. 

2) Always smell nice, if you have a body odor, ensure that you bathe when you sweat and put on your deodorant even when at home. A sweet smelling perfume is desirable but not really necessary especially if you put on lotion that already has a scent.

3) Take care of your skin, always hydrate your skin. Let's face it, no one is eternally young, our soft, velvety skin will always be affected by age, pregnancy and what nots. So, don't forget your moisturizer, hand and body cream. However tiresome you think it is. Trust me, it will not go in vain. Even if you will not get your skin back to its former glory, you can at least prevent it from aging faster. 

4) Take care of your nails. I am not asking you to do a pedicure and manicure every week but at least keep them presentable and healthy. Your toenails are especially exposed to dirt when you are outside, so do keep them clean. 

5) Take care of your hair, do ensure that it is presentably cut and don't penny pinch on shampoos and conditioners and hair mask. Do go to a good salon and get a hair treatment once in a while. At home, do ensure that hair is properly brushed and keep a variety of hairbands, hair pins and hair accessories. Please don't just get any hair cut because it  is easy to maintain. Remember you are the sex siren of the house.

6) Dress up at home. Stay away from old shirts and sarongs at home. Try dresses, dressy tops and slacks and even skirts.  Of course, you shouldn't go to the extreme and dress like an indecent person especially if you are living with your in-laws or your kids are already big, just dress presentably.

7) Accessorize yourself. Put on nice earrings or dainty necklace. Try to put on a different set of earring every other day. The best part of this is that you can try out different looks and see which one he likes best. 

8) Invest in good quality underwear and lingerie. Think lacy and sexy and body flattering. Don't ask him whether he thinks that you need to buy new underwear cos his answer will be a resounding no. Just go ahead and buy what you know he will like and when you wear it he will not blame you for buying it. 

9) Take care of your body. if you have put on weight more than what you weighed when you got married, I have only one word for you. Exercise! I know that it's no fun and tiring and we all love to make up tons of excuses for it but hey, it is an essential part of keeping fit. Just sneak it as much activity as you can in your daily life. Do some spot running while carrying your baby or some crunches before sleep or even lunges when you bathe your child. Let's face it, our hubby married us for a reason and that is they were attracted to us the way we were. If we are in a better shape than before; Alhamdulillah, that's great and we should keep it up but, if we are in a bad shape then we owe it to ourselves more than to them to put our body back in shape. Keeping yourself in shape is essential in performing your duties as an active mother and a versatile and multi-tasking wife. 

10) Last but not least, always pray to Allah that he keeps the love between you and your husband alive and he will find peace and contentment in you and that your strengths are magnified and your weaknesses are played down in his eyes.

May Allah give us the strength to be wonderful wives to our husbands :)

  

A mother's advice to a bride

Taken from Jamharah Khutah al-‘Arab, 1/145

‘Abd al-Malik (RA) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her, to advise her and said:

‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

‘The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

‘Show him as much honour and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah choose what is best for you and protect you.”